Worrying is Like Praying for Everything You DON'T Want!

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Have you ever found yourself staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m. - replaying a conversation from three days ago?

Congratulations: you are officially human! Worry has a way of sneaking up on all of us -

But here’ are a few hard truths I had to learn the long way (and some great ways to 'fix' em!):

Worrying is like praying for everything you don’t want.

And I know this because for years, I was basically preaching my own demise.

I told myself I was “just being prepared.” I thought if I ran every worst-case scenario in my head, I’d somehow be ready for whatever life threw at me.

In reality?I was building myself a mental cage—and then locking myself inside it.

If you’ve ever been stuck inside your own head, you know how exhausting that is. And not just exhausting… it’s genuinely harmful.

Your brain doesn’t know the difference between a tragedy that’s actually happening and one you just made up in your imagination. It reacts the same way. Heart rate up. Muscles tight. Stress hormones activated.

All because of something that doesn’t even exist.

And here’s the wild part: research suggests that about

85–90% of the things we worry about never actually happen.

So we’re burning our emotional energy on ghosts.

The Many Faces of Worry

Worry doesn’t show up the same way for everyone. You might see yourself in one (or several) of these.

1. Interaction Worry

This was my personal specialty.

My insecurities loved to come out during social interactions. I would obsess over:

• What I said

• What they said

• Their reactions

• My reactions

• And the classic: “What did they mean by that?”

These mental replays usually clocked in somewhere between 1 and 4 a.m.

2. Situational Worry

This is the “What if everything goes wrong?” type.

• What if I miss my flight?

• What if my suitcase is too small?

• What if my shoes aren’t right?

• What if the plane crashes?

Some people live in a constant loop of “What if?”—and they’ll even admit it has cost them opportunities because fear talks them out of action.

3. Health Anxiety

This is worrying about everything that might be wrong with your body.

A weird twinge? Probably something dire.A headache? Clearly the worst-case scenario.

Your mind spirals, and suddenly you’ve diagnosed yourself with twelve conditions and a half.

4. Performance or Competence Worry

This sounds like:

• What if I’m not good enough?

• What if I don’t meet expectations?

• What if I fail and everyone sees it?

It’s the fear that you’re not capable, even when there’s evidence that you are.

5. Relationship Worry

This goes deeper than replaying one awkward moment.

This is worrying about the stability of the relationship itself:

• What if they leave?

• What if I’m too much? Not enough?

• What if this falls apart?

It’s a constant scanning for cracks—even when things are okay.

6. Existential Worry

Ah yes, the big-picture fears:

• What’s happening to the planet?

• What if the economy collapses?

• What if the world goes off a cliff?

These are the huge, global “What ifs” that feel too big for any one person to fix.

7. Meta Worrying (Worrying About Worrying)

This one is sneaky.

It sounds like:

• What if my worrying makes him stop loving me?

• What if worrying gives me a heart attack?

• What if I never stop worrying?

You’re not just worried—you’re worried about being worried. That’s worry, stacked on worry, stacked on worry.

How to Break the Worry Cycle

The good news: you’re not stuck with this.You can’t eliminate worry completely (again: human), but you can stop letting it run the whole show.

Here are some practical ways to rein it in and redirect that mental energy into something that actually serves you.

1. Get Clarification Instead of Writing a Mental Soap Opera

This one changed my life around interaction worry.

If someone says something and it’s bothering me, instead of replaying it for three days, I ask for clarification.

Not in the passive-aggressive:

“What did you mean by that?”

That tone just creates more drama.

Instead, try:

“Hey, you said X earlier. I heard it as Y. Is that what you meant?”

You’d be amazed how often:

• They didn’t mean it the way you took it, or

• They’re happy to clarify, and the whole thing dissolves

In a digital age—texts, emails, DMs—it’s incredibly easy to misinterpret tone. Getting clarity is faster and healthier than letting your brain write a horror script.

2. Flip the “What If” Script

We’re experts at negative what-ifs:

• What if the trip is a disaster?

• What if the meeting goes terribly?

• What if I screw this up?

But… what if everything goes right?

I heard about a man who does a “What If” ritual every morning before he gets out of bed—but it’s all positive:

• What if I get my entire to-do list done today?

• What if that presentation goes better than I expect?

• What if my kids actually listen the first time I ask?

He’s intentionally building a positive reality in his mind, instead of letting worry run wild.

You can do the same:

• Before a trip

• Before a big day

• Before a conversation

Ask: What if this goes better than I could imagine?

3. Schedule a “Worry Appointment”

This one is backed by psychology: giving worry a container makes it less overwhelming.

If your brain loves to bring you things to worry about, try this:

“Okay, I hear you. But we’re not worrying about this right now. My worry time is from 5:00 to 5:30 p.m. I’ll put this on the list for then.”

You acknowledge it—but you don’t spin on it all day.

By the time your “worry appointment” arrives, one of two things usually happens:

1. You realize it’s not worth worrying about anymore, or

2. You can look at it calmly and say, “Okay, is there something practical I can do?”

Time creates perspective.

4. Ask: Is This Real, or Is This a Rehearsal?

When a worry pops up, pause and ask:

“Is this something real that I need to address… or is this just mental rehearsal for a disaster that doesn’t exist?”

Example:

• “What if we get a flat tire on the way to the airport?”

If you also know your tires are worn out, then that’s not just worry—that’s a signal.

In that case, you can turn it into action:

“Yes, that could happen. So I’m going to get my tires checked, and if needed, replaced before the trip.”

Now it’s handled. No more mental looping required.

If there’s nothing you can actually do about the scenario? That’s rehearsal. Label it that, and let it go.

5. Use Your Body to Interrupt the Spiral

Your mind and body are constantly talking to each other. When your mind is spiraling, your body joins in.

You can flip that script, too.

Try box breathing:

• Inhale for 4 counts

• Hold for 4

• Exhale for 4

• Hold for 4

Repeat a few rounds. This kind of breath work helps reset your nervous system so your logical brain can come back online.

Also: move.

• Turn on a song you love

• Dance in your kitchen

• Shake out your arms and legs

It sounds silly, but getting into your body helps pull you out of the mental maze.

6. When the Worry Is Big (Existential & Meta Worry)

If you’re stuck in the big-picture stuff—planet, economy, society—ask yourself:

“What’s within my control here?”

You can’t single-handedly fix the world. But you can take small aligned actions:

• Recycle

• Reduce waste

• Donate

• Volunteer

• Support causes that matter to you

Turning worry into action gives your brain a sense of contribution and purpose instead of helplessness.

For meta worrying (worrying about worrying), the key is naming it.

“Okay, I see it. I’m worrying about the fact that I’m worrying.”

By acknowledging it, you create a bit of distance. Then:

• Do a few rounds of box breathing

• Remind yourself: “My brain is scanning for threats to protect me. That doesn’t mean every thought is true or urgent.”

You get to decide which thoughts are worth your energy.

7. Interrupt Worry with Gratitude

This is my personal favorite, and honestly, I try to use it even when I’m not spiraling.

Gratitude is like emotional reset.

If you catch yourself worrying about something—say, that flat tire again—you can counter it with:

• “I’m grateful I have a car.”

• “I’m grateful I can afford new tires.”

• “I’m grateful I’m able to travel at all.”

Once you start naming what you’re grateful for, your brain shifts out of catastrophe-mode and back into reality.

Gratitude doesn’t make problems disappear—but it reminds you of what is working, and that perspective changes everything.

Flip the Script: From Horror Story to Miracle

The next time you notice yourself worrying, pause and remember:

You are essentially praying for everything you don’t want.

So what if, just for this week, you tried something different?

Instead of rehearsing disaster, preach possibility to yourself.

When your mind starts writing a horror story, catch it—and rewrite it as a miracle instead:

• What if this goes beautifully?

• What if I’m more capable than I think?

• What if this is the beginning of something better than I imagined?

You don’t have to be at the mercy of your thoughts.

You get to direct them.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

I’d love to hear from you: Which type of worry shows up for you most often—and which strategy are you willing to try first?

If this resonated with you, come join the conversation:

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I look forward to seeing you there. 💛